


All we get is one night

by dreamerbydawn



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate ending for 2x20, Angst, Happy ending is in part 2, M/M, No character death though, Not A Happy Ending, Post 2x20, but for now its all pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 17:25:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13081686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamerbydawn/pseuds/dreamerbydawn
Summary: Magnus had been so, so grateful to have Alexander come back home with him after the party at Hunter's moon, but that happiness is quick to disappear when he learns an old acquaintance is set to visit...





	All we get is one night

 

 Magnus knows what’s coming, knew it the moment he’d been woken up by the fire message from Lorenzo Rey. Of all the people Magnus had acquainted himself with in his long, long life, if there was one person he regretted meeting, it was the warlock that had helped him set up his first meeting with his father.

 And now, right after he had spent the day closing a portal to Edom, another metaphorical one opens directly into the very same hell dimension and if it was anything like the last time –

 But who was he kidding? If Lorenzo was seeking him, so was Asmodeus. The fellow warlock was only a herald of what was coming after him, and knowing as Magnus did, there was little anyone could do to stop that. Asmodeus was not the kind of person one could stop.

 The only questions that remained were semantics, the when and the what and the why. But they didn’t matter, hell fire was burning bright and he’d have to go through…

 Alone.

 Almost without his consent, his magic flared to allow him to see through his wall and to the bedroom where he’d left Alexander alone a while ago, the sleeping nephilim having rolled over to Magnus’s side of the bed in his absence.

 He stares, taking in the way Alec is tangled in the sheets, the effect of the rollover being that the blankets were now semi-wrapped around his waist with one leg jutting out from what should have been a warm cocoon. Alec’s face is smushed into Magnus’s pillow and his mouth is slightly open.

 But even like this, especially like this, unguarded and vulnerable and for once, looking his age, Alexander was beautiful and Magnus’s heart clenched painfully at the thought of letting the young man go.

 He can feel the sting of tears in his eyes as he hastily lets the enchantment drop, the wall solidifying again and closing him off from the view that he’d probably never get to see again. The unfairness of the world hits Magnus fully then, that he’d be given this only to have it all cruelly ripped away…

 Alexander, _His Alexander,_ with his lopsided smiles and bambi eyes and a heart full of love for Magnus; it was unbearable, the thought of what he was giving up. No more sleepy morning cuddles, no more soft ‘see you soon’ kisses when they parted in the day or sweet texts through their working hours, that unfailingly made him smile. No more coming home to strong arms wrapping around him and feeding warmth into his very soul or pizza dinners and cuddles on the couch. Worst of all though, no more listening to Alexander’s heartbeat as he drifted off to sleep.

 But Alec would never forgive Magnus, even if by some miracle Magnus came out of this without being burnt too black, Alec couldn't forgive what he was about to do, of that he was sure.  And Magnus doesn’t think he has ever felt heartbreak more viscerally, nor cried more unstoppable tears…

* * *

 

 By the time Alec wandered into the living room, rubbing his eyes sleepily like a child and with his hair sticking up in every conceivable direction, Magnus had himself well under control; Or at least enough to get through this conversation without falling apart. 

 “Magnus? Please tell me you don’t have an early client” Alec asks, clearly having noticed Magnus’s fully put together outfit and assuming his armour was for someone else.

 “Alec” Magnus manages quietly “Sit down”

 There was a dip of his brows as he complied, hand already reaching out for Magnus to take as he settled closer to Magnus than was good for a warlock’s self restraint.

 “Are you okay?” The concern is already clear, hazel eyes flicking along the length of him to check for themselves.

 “I made a mistake” is the only response Magnus can manage, the words somehow coming out steadier than he expected.

 Alec is silent for a moment, clearly thinking things over before reclaiming the hand Magnus had just drawn away.

 “We can fix it” He offers, like it was that easy “Is it the Seelie Queen? Does she have something she can use against you or was there a –“

 “Last night Alec” Magnus interrupts, not being able to take another word of this beautifully innocent boy being so trusting, despite Magnus having broken his heart only last week. In fact, he can see now that Alec is thinking back to the previous night, searching for clues as to what Magnus could be referring to, so he clarifies “Us”

 Magnus can identify the exact instant the word registers, because Alexander reels back, drawing his hand away like he was burnt and physically flinching away from Magnus, his eyes going wide and his mouth dropping open soundlessly.

 “I – I had one too many to drink and with the exhaustion and the victory and – It was a stupid mistake Alec, I should never have – we should never have” He abruptly stops talking, no words forming in the face of Alec’s tears.

 Magnus doesn’t know why he didn’t expect them, probably because Alec was the sort of person to lick his wounds in private, but here he was sitting beside Magnus, silent tears falling rapidly down his face and shaking so much that every part of Magnus is screaming at him to take his words back, to apologize and gather his Alexander back into his arms to keep him from falling apart.

 But he can’t give in, what he wants doesn’t matter when compared to whatever it is that Asmodeus wants, and Alexander couldn’t fall on his radar, or Lorenzo’s. And this way, this way where no one knew about last night, Alec would only be thought of as another one of Magnus’s many flings, one that ended when things got inconvenient.

 “Magnus, please” Alec’s desperate voice brings him back to here and now “I said I was sorry, I’ll – what should I do? Tell me what to do“

 “Alec, there’s nothing to do. We’re from different worlds and effort isn’t going to change that” Magnus sounds hollow, and is impossibly grateful that Alec’s pain is keeping him from seeing that.

 Still, he can’t keep this up for long and so he gets up, attempts to move away from the couch, further away from Alec, but he hadn’t realized how shaky his legs were, so he collapses into the very next armchair, managing not more than a few feet of distance between them.

 Not that it makes the slightest difference when Alec follows, stumbling to his feet and after three steps forward, falling to the ground because he didn’t have centuries of experience in holding his composure. Not the way Magnus did.

 “It can, we can. I love you Magnus”  Alec pleads, uncaring of the fact the he was literally at Magnus's feet. And Magnus, who previously loved to see this powerful man, the head of the New York institute, willingly go down on his knees for him, loathed it now.

 And to see him like this, to see him openly begging Magnus, tears still streaming down his face as he desperately offers “I’ll do anything, please Magnus, please”, it destroys Magnus in ways four centuries of pain and suffering hadn’t.

 “Alexander, get up” He instructs, the words coming out as an order that gets through to Alec’s soldier instincts. Magnus himself rises to his feet, standing them across each other, the pathetic one feet of distance seeming like it contained worlds within it.  

 “This doesn’t befit you. You’re still the leader of your people and I expect we’ll still have to deal with each other at least on a professional basis, so this mistake -”

 Alec lets out a choked sob that cuts Magnus short and for the first time since this conversation started, Magnus can see past his own gut wrenching pain to think of how cruel his words sounded, how Alec being Alec would take the words to mean Magnus considered this whole relationship to be a mistake. And maybe it was. Maybe Alec would have never known happiness with Lydia but he could have been spared this…

 Still, it’s too late to take the words back, mostly because if Magnus starts to apologize, he'd take all of it back. And so he turns on his heel and disappears into the bedroom, shutting the door firmly behind himself before collapsing into the bed, giving in once again to the silent tears.

 It takes almost an hour, an hour of Alec standing in the living room, alone and lost and heartbroken, before Magnus hears the front door clicking shut behind the love of his life.  

It would take a few more hours after that, for Magnus himself to come back and find Alexander's key left on the coffee table, the quietest goodbye of all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I know I had promised smut and fluff with my last fic but instead this is what my brain came up with. But there is a second part, with a happier ending.... although just FYI, this will be updated only after my Christmas fic is done... For now, please do leave comments and lemme know what you think??


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